A Beyond the Limit Sort of Love

The day had been a stressful one, and as it wound down to a close, I felt as though there were still so many loose ends that needed to be tied. Above all, the dishes still had not been done. 

We got the girls into bed, and I finally got around to taking my much-needed shower.

I glanced over at the kitchen and thought to myself, "Kevin will do them. I'll come out of the shower to a clean kitchen." 

But when I came out, I found him on the couch doing some work-related to-do's that had been pressing on his mind. 

Yes, I understood. But at the same time, I looked over at the still-messy kitchen and my heart sank. I had been looking forward to settling down to read a good book, but instead, I knew what needed to be done. 

"I'll just clear the counters and wash the huge, obvious dishes that are sticking out of the sink, and then I can read," I thought. 

As I went toward the kitchen, Kevin interrupted me. 

"You don't have to do the dishes," he said (as if he had read my mind) "I'll do them in the morning." And he really meant it.

"Ok," I answered. 

Good. At least eventually he would meet my expectations. But I couldn't leave the countertops all cluttered, so I at least had to take care of that. 

As he went to take his shower, I hurried to make the kitchen more tidy-looking so that it would at least feel like there was less for him to conquer in the morning. 

But then, that still, small voice, the voice of the Spirit of God within me, spoke: "What kind of love only goes halfway?"

And then, I saw it... My thoughts and plans about the evening had been centered on me. I had only one person in mind to serve as the evening came to a close. Only one person that I was seeking to please. Only one person whose needs I was going to make sure were met: Yours truly. 

Yes, I cared about Kevin and his needs, but I had left him high and dry, expecting him to not only meet his own needs, but to notice mine and hopefully do something about them. (Which he really does do very well, I might add.)

What should our expectation be in marriage and life towards those around us? 

I remember meeting a couple when we were getting ready to have our first baby. They saw the bump and they had some marriage/parenting advice for us: "Split the work and responsibilities 50/50," they said. "That's the only way it will really work."

Is that the way Jesus' followers should do it? We both knew the answer was no. We both knew we would need to put all our expectations on Christ and not on each other if it was really going to work.

But it is so easy to get so caught up in the stresses and difficulties of life that I am the only person I think about. Survival mode kicks in and no longer is my life and energy being poured out for others but conserved for myself. 

Really, though. What kind of love goes only halfway? 

Not God's love. 

Think about how He demonstrated His love for us.... He gave His beloved Son to not only live on the earth for a stint -though that would have been plenty more than most of us would do- but to live on the earth, away from His heavenly domain, in constant service to others, experiencing physical needs, physical and emotional pains, and to finish off His life here on earth being despised and mocked and then giving up His very life in a most excruciating way- so that you and I could live -really live- in the way we were created for. 

And He didn't just finish that task, but He went beyond and He still does.

After His glorious resurrection and ascension (which, I might add, have amazing implications for us in themselves), He sent us His Spirit to live within us and to help us and empower us to live a life we could never live, to know the God we could never know, and to even help others on this earth to find Him too. 

And not only that, but He changed our identity, calling us children of God, beloved, wanted, accepted, and so. much. more. 

I mean... what in the world? 

THIS is how He demonstrated and continues to demonstrate His love. 

And now that we are His, this is what He empowers us to do too. 

To finish the story above, He gave me joy in finishing those dishes, knowing it would make my husband's morning easier. And then He gave me more joy in making his sandwich for the next day's lunch, simply because I knew it would at the very least let him know I was thinking about him. (Yes, I confess, I'm not that super wife that makes her husband's lunch every day. But it is one way I say "I love you" when I do think to do it.) 

Jesus said something pretty amazing in John 7:37-39: "'He who believes in Me, out of His heart will flow rivers of living water.' This He spoke of the Spirit..." 

I was just meditating on this verse when I realized it didn't say, "Into his heart", and that thought really struck me. 

I think Jesus is pointing out something very important. Those who truly live in that place of receiving from Jesus all that He is and being able to trust Him with all that they are become life-givers. 

That word, "believe" involves trust, and trust happens in relationship. 

Can I trust Jesus to meet my own needs? If I can, then I am freed up to love others all the way and beyond, instead of only going halfway.

That gushing stream of His love, which is fruit from His Spirit living within, can freely flow through me onto others. I by faith can step into obedience in giving every last ounce of strength I feel I have to those around me, all the while being supplied with more and more heavenly strength to continuously give. 

And yes, my friends. The absolute hardest place to do that is at home, where you are surrounded by people who might expect you to do it again tomorrow. 

But I repeat, God's love is not a halfway sort of love. That halfway love is whatever love I might be able to conjure up in the moment. His love is far more limitless than that. 

There is no place that God calls us to where He cannot cause His lifegiving Spirit to flow out of us onto those around us, including (and especially) those in our home, whether we are looking at siblings and parents, or spouses and kids. 

Those who tend to expect the most from us are the ones we are most hesitant to serve. Yet they are our greatest test of if the love coming out of our lives is heavenly and spiritual. 

My friend... If this is a hard thing for you to read, I understand. I still am learning this lesson. I have a long way to grow in this. 

But if we look up at Jesus, we will see One who desires to guide us and supernaturally produce in us love and joy for others, even when feel we have none. 

Out of your life can flow not just droplets, but rivers of living water for those around you to drink from. But the place where that begins is in that simple, trusting relationship with Jesus. 

...

Jesus, I want to know You more. You said to let Your mind infiltrate mine. Your thoughts are so different from mine. Your heart is so sweet and full of unfailing love. You never just do the bare minimum in loving me. Nor do you do the bare minimum in loving and serving those around me. 

Grow me in a deep, childlike, trusting relationship with You, so that out of my life can flow rivers of Your life-giving love to others.