Living Life for Christ Alone

Have you ever felt like life's many troubles, pains, challenges and pressures line up at your bed to greet you the moment you wake up?  This has been me the last couple weeks... I wake up in the morning, and there they are clamoring for my attention. I think through one and come to a conclusion about it, and then the next one takes its turn. And then, when I have thought through them all, the first one comes around again with another side to the issue to get me thinking again. Fix it mode is a very real thing, and not just for men. We want control, we want to see wrongs made right, we want our world to be put back in order, we just want peace. And before long, we become consumed.  Have you ever been here? It comes in many different forms... You could call it worry. You could call it fear. You could call it anxiety. You could call it control. You could call it a search for stability. You could call it a desire for things to be fixed. You could call it a pity party. You could ca...

Often in the shadows I sit, surrounded by piles and piles of emotions that hold my attention and overwhelm me. Often they arrive in a sandstorm of confusion, walling me in and leaving me full of fear.  They're dirty emotions. Many of them don't make any sense to me. And the more I try to bring order to the piles around me, the more of a mess it all becomes.  One addition to my piles of emotions came through a friend who didn't fulfill my expectations. The one before that came through a sibling who hurt me. Another whirlwind arrived in the form of broken dreams. And yet another came in the quiet of my bedroom, looking in the mirror at a failure -myself- a girl who could never be good enough; a girl who'd never measure up.