Living Life for Christ Alone

I want to serve Jesus. This desire has been mine since my youth.  Maybe this is just a millennial thing (or maybe it's not), but we millennials want to be passionate about something and to go big or go home. We want to change the world. I took that millennial thing and went "Christian" with it.  I wanted to be a missionary and make a huge impact somewhere so that I could come home and talk about it.  I wanted to leave a legacy that no one would miss.  I wanted to be remembered as someone who made a difference. I wanted to feel like I was accomplishing something important for Jesus.  I often pictured showing up before that great throne one day with much luscious, spiritual fruit to offer Christ to show for how my life was spent on this earth.  I feared not having enough to give Him.  But marriage and motherhood has put huge cracks in this dream. They caused me to pause and have to rethink what is actually valuable.  What do I mean by that? Were those desires bad?  Well...

Discouragement often comes on the heels of high emotions and great encouragement.  Ever noticed that?  I recently heard mentioned in a podcast the saying: "What goes up must come down," and  I was struck by the fact that this very much can be referring to spiritual, emotional and physical highs.  A busy and fun weekend is often followed by a dull Monday.  A good day with little ones full of laughs and good behavior is quickly followed by another one with way less of both.  An exciting, energetic trip is often followed by an exhausted crash and sleepy, grumpy days to follow. A spiritual high can quickly be followed by spiritual lows, clarity by fog, joy by sorrow, confidence by faltering.  We so easily get discouraged once that high is replaced with a low simply because we secretly hoped the high would keep going on forever.  I experience this way too often, but I hadn't thought to expect it and even prepare for it.  If we are riding on the highs, we can -and should- be su

"Where do wars and fights come from among you?" (James 4:1) Have you ever paused to wonder why fights happen?  When I say fighting, yes, I could be talking about actual wars happening. I could also be referring to the battles we fight within our own country- political, social, and so on.  I could be talking about the rifts that happen interdenominationally, or even within a single church.  But I'm sure we all know that fighting happens a lot closer to home than that.  How about the "disagreements" (er, arguments) that happen within families: among siblings, spouses, parents and teens, etc.? There is something almost thrilling about joining in a good argument, would you agree? I've gotten caught up in some of them myself. It's almost addicting to fight for that last word.  But usually, whoever had the last word was the one who inflicted the most pain.  And whenever that last word is followed by silence, you can be sure that it will take a lot of work to

The day had been a stressful one, and as it wound down to a close, I felt as though there were still so many loose ends that needed to be tied. Above all, the dishes still had not been done.  We got the girls into bed, and I finally got around to taking my much-needed shower. I glanced over at the kitchen and thought to myself, " Kevin will do them. I'll come out of the shower to a clean kitchen."  But when I came out, I found him on the couch doing some work-related to-do's that had been pressing on his mind.  Yes, I understood. But at the same time, I looked over at the still-messy kitchen and my heart sank. I had been looking forward to settling down to read a good book, but instead, I knew what needed to be done.  "I'll just clear the counters and wash the huge, obvious dishes that are sticking out of the sink, and then I can read,"  I thought.  As I went toward the kitchen, Kevin interrupted me.  "You don't have to do the dishes," he s

Have you ever noticed that new seasons of life seem to bring on new failures?  I feel like motherhood and ministry are two places where God has called me to that involve constant change, as well as constant disappointment. "Disappointment in what?" you might be asking. Disappointment in, well, myself.  The older I get (which I'm aware I'm not very old yet), the more I find myself in the stages of life I once dreamed about. And the more I find myself in these stages I once dreamed about, the more I find that it is nowhere near as easy or perfect as I had pictured.  You know that thought you had a long time ago before you were in the season you are in now? The thought that said, "I will do better than they  are doing"?  Yet now, what have those thoughts done for us but point afresh at our imperfections and inability to execute any ideas we had about life perfectly?  Maybe it's not as picture-perfect as you thought.  Maybe you are messing up at every turn a

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. He is my defense; I shall not be moved." (Psalm 62:5-6) It is in stillness and quiet that we really see God. It is when our eyes are set only on seeing Him that other sights are able to dim before His glorious presence.  Silence. I feel like it's a lost art.  Most of the time, my own soul is full of noise. Worries and cares. Distraction. People I care about. Circumstances I often seek to control. Goals I aim for. Things I'm doing that I'm deeply engrossed in. I start the day all too often with what seems like thousands of thoughts swirling in my mind.  Our moments of "quiet" often amplify the noise in our soul. Ever noticed that?  Maybe it's because we are actually settling down to listen, and that's the first thing we hear.  How do we wait  in silence  for God?  Perhaps it has more to do with expectation than we realize. Maybe there is a l

  "'How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?'" (John 5:44) Do you have faith problems?  Much of the Christianity we have in our western culture is tainted with doubt.  Doubtful questions plague many minds...Is God's word really true? Is He really real? Will  He actually do  what He promised? Doubts about the plainly spoken things in scripture overshadow how His word is even heard. Others have more subtle doubts.  Maybe we just wonder if He really loves us.  Maybe we question our position before Him.  Maybe we live as if He never thinks about us and thus have little to no thought of Him.  Maybe we wonder if He really can forgive us for our most recent sin or failing.  I know all of us struggle or have struggled with doubt from one degree to another, simply because faith is something that starts out small, like a mustard seed, planted in the soil of our hearts where doubt grows wild. And since f

It had been a long week full of challenges for me. I don't remember what all the challenges were, but the main thing I remember is that I’d had many moments of overwhelm, many moments where I wondered if I could make it through another day of more of the same.   But now, as I trudged onto the beach, a sense of joy flooded my soul. Here I was, in one of my “happy places”, alone with God.   You see, Kevin had given me the morning off to spend some time alone with Jesus while he watched the girls. I knew where I wanted to go, how I wanted to use that time. I was going to take a long, long, long, uninterrupted walk along the beach. Just me and Jesus.   The waves crashed, the white sand glistened in the sunlight, the sounds of seagulls could be heard, the smell of salty water filled the air, and I felt a sense of awe settling over my soul. I looked around at others there and wondered if they felt it too. How could they not? This was God’s creation, awesome beauty for all to see and feel