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Showing posts from July, 2022

Obsessed with God... or something else?

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Have you ever felt like life's many troubles, pains, challenges and pressures line up at your bed to greet you the moment you wake up?  This has been me the last couple weeks... I wake up in the morning, and there they are clamoring for my attention. I think through one and come to a conclusion about it, and then the next one takes its turn. And then, when I have thought through them all, the first one comes around again with another side to the issue to get me thinking again. Fix it mode is a very real thing, and not just for men. We want control, we want to see wrongs made right, we want our world to be put back in order, we just want peace. And before long, we become consumed.  Have you ever been here? It comes in many different forms... You could call it worry. You could call it fear. You could call it anxiety. You could call it control. You could call it a search for stability. You could call it a desire for things to be fixed. You could call it a pity party. You could call it

I Have Calmed and Quieted Myself

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The lights are out, and I sit in the rocking chair holding my sixteen-month-old, singing softly to her and rocking slowly in the rocking chair.  I close my eyes and breathe. It is quiet, except for the sound of the noise machine and air conditioning running. The sun peers just a little around the door, but it is just the right atmosphere to coax her to sleep. As I hum, I look down at her face. The pacifier is in her mouth and her blankie by her face. She looks so cozy there all snuggled up to me.  And then, her eyes start blinking slowly. Sleep starts taking over. One by one, whatever cares she had, she lets go of. I feel her muscles relax. If her hands were playing with something, they go limp. Her breathing gets deep. And all of a sudden, it is as if time stands still.  I can't explain it, but I never get tired of this moment. It is magical. It rights all wrongs in the day. The morning could have been chaotic and messy, but it doesn't take away from this moment. Instead, this

I Have All That I Need

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The other day, I envisioned myself on a path I've never walked on before, full of difficulty and unknowns.  "Lord," I'd say, "I've never walked this path before. This is unfamiliar territory." "Yes," He'd say, "And I will be with you every step of the way." That would be enough to put a smile on my face and urge me forward -for He truly would be enough. ... "The Lord is my Shepherd," said the psalmist in Psalm 23:1, "I have all that I need." Whoa. Was he serious? Everything? Yes... God is everything we need. We just don't realize it most of the time because we think we need other things. We see how other people are bolstered and think it must really be working, but if we were to get a glimpse at their soul, we would instantly know it isn't.  If you really think about it, if you have God -who clothes the grass of the field and feeds the birds of the air- you have everything.  You have the One who makes i

Tell Him, "I Love You."

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Every day after lunch, we have a little routine. Ellie gets on the couch with some books while I get Avi ready for her nap, and then when she's ready, we stop by the living room where Ellie sits.  "Say, 'Nite-Nite,' Avi," I coax. "Ni-ni!" She says in her little squeaky voice. "Say, 'I love you, Ellie.'" "I da-du!" Avi says. Ellie looks up from her books, sometimes without my prompting and says, "Nite-Nite, I love you!"  This scene has special meaning to me and melts my heart. Doesn't it do that for you too? I want them to love each other. I want love to be what is pulsating through everything that happens in this home. I want our home to be where love is tasted, touched, seen...  So, we take baby steps in the learning process. We practice saying it to each other. We practice showing it to each other with kindness and sharing. And then there are those rare moments when my two-year-old, Ellie, voluntarily tells me,

What Does Your Soul Reflect?

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This morning, my girls and I went for our near-daily walk and the sky was almost cloudless with a slight breeze blowing. It was lovely, especially for a typical day in the middle of Florida's summer with all the not-so-glorious heat and humidity. But then, as the morning wore on, clouds rolled in and rains poured down, covering our yard with puddles.  And now, as I write, the sun is shining brightly in our yard with clouds hanging low in the distant sky.  One can never be quite sure what will happen next... More rain? Or how about a cloudless sky? It really could go either way. I feel like circumstances can be like that. Sometimes, the good ones stretch over months, and other times, they last only a few short minutes. And yet, how quickly and easily we put our hope in them. I don't know about you, but my emotions are often intricately tied into my circumstances, and as a result, they can be so... unstable. One minute, the sun of circumstances shines brightly, so my soul shines