Living Life for Christ Alone

I sat in the doorway of the addition facing our backyard, breeze blowing through the open doorw ay into the unfinished frame of the new room. It was nearing the time I would need to go inside to get the kiddos started on the day, but I knew I needed to pour my heart out to God first .   As I sat there, the words spilled out, emotions rising, feelings intensifying. This week was another week of challenges to our family –one after another, it seemed. I say another week because it is one in a long line of weeks, or even months of challenges, tests to our faith, and more. I told my F ather all about it, but the more I spoke, the more I wanted to stop, because the emotions I was having about it all seemed so... wrong.   But I knew He was beckoning me to pour it all out.   I began to speak the words of Psalm 42 to God...   “My soul, why are you cast down? Why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God! ...Oh God, my soul is cast down within me; therefore , I will ...

“Here,” she whisper ed , voice shaky from carrying a heavy weight. “Hope this makes you happy.”   She drop ped it at His feet and turn ed around, hurrying to leave the room, wondering if He was even in the slightest bit pleased with her .   “Wait,” He call ed , but she d id not hear.   She le ft the room shaking her head, wondering why she was even trying to bring these gifts to Him –obedience to His laws, sacrifice, service , worship ...? She fe lt no pleasure in it. It fe lt dry a nd meaningless, like she was merely putting on a show for Someone who c ould see right through it.   He kn ew she ha d no pleasure in these things. She d id them because she fe lt she must, almost as if doing so somehow would appease Him.   But inwardly, her heart was dying...   And had she for a moment looked up into His face, she would have seen a very different facial expression than she was inwardly expecting.   She remember ed back in the day...