Living Life for Christ Alone

Seasons of great need - how easily we shun them like the plague.   The past several weeks have been drenched in many challenges and needs for me and my family.  Need that has had me crying out to God, “how long?”  I beg him for a time limit, some light at the end of the tunnel, but when I look for it, I just see more tunnel.  What is the purpose of a season like this?  This is the question I have found myself asking God on a near daily basis.  I won’t say I’ve found out the fullness of the answer yet, but pressing the question so much has yielded some light for me.  After all, He promises that those who seek will find.  And one thing He keeps pressing into my soul is this:  My need is my opportunity to test the limits I think God has on the amount of grace He will give me.  And oh, if I could recount to you all the ways He has already poured so much grace, you would think me a spoiled daughter of the King.  But if you saw how each d...

"What do I do?" I wondered as we drove home. The sun was setting far below the horizon, and streetlights flickered in the onset of darkness. I tried confessing whatever sin I knew to confess in silent prayer, but it didn't fix what was actually bothering me: I felt like such a huge mess.  My emotions had been all over the place.  I felt so much shame, fear, doubt... How had I gotten here? I wasn't sure... Besides, what good would it do to know? I couldn't fix it. I had spent many hours trying. It seemed that the more I tried, the messier it got. And it felt as though the very fabric of who I was had been torn apart. The Spirit within me nudged me to bring the mess to God.  "God, here is my mess... I bring it to You. Can you fix it?" I prayed silently, looking out the window into the dark night. Suddenly, I saw in my mind's eye the nail-pierced hands of Jesus. "I already did," His answer broke through my doubts and fears.  And then He looked...

I'm going to do some boasting on here. I'm really weak. Adulting, being a mother with two little precious toddlers 18 months apart in my care, having much on my plate -these things and more have helped me feel it. Almost daily, I find myself freshly aware that I do not have all the answers. I often feel the crushing weight of needing to make hundreds of micro decisions each day press in around me. The temptation to be discouraged before the day has even begun is real, because if I look too much at myself, I will see so much potential to fail. Don't get me wrong. I love my life. It's full, really full, in a lot of really good ways. But I am weak, and I am so very often conscious of it. There are days when I don't feel like I can take any more and would love a break. There are times when I want to retreat into a dark corner somewhere and throw a pity party. There are times when what is going on in my soul is not pretty. HOWEVER. It has been SO good for me. Let me expl...