Living Life for Christ Alone

"'My Lord, why did you bring me here?' 'I wanted you to see this view,' he answered very gently indeed. 'I am looking at it,' she said, just a little breathlessly. 'Tell me, my Lord, what do you see?' He answered slowly and clearly: 'I see the dark places of the earth full of the habitations of cruelty. I see multitudes of human souls fainting and scattered abroad as sheep having no shepherd, and I am moved with compassion on them, Grace and Glory.' After a long time, she spoke again, but in a voice so low it was scarcely audible. 'I think I understand, my Lord.'"                    (From Mountains of Spices, by Hannah Hurnard) // "I wanted you to see this view."  I read this after a day of being educated on sexual abuse and trafficking, after a week of catching new glimpses of God's heart towards me as His child, after weeks of studying and learning about trauma and pondering what it will be like to be surrounded ...

"What do I do?" I wondered as we drove home. The sun was setting far below the horizon, and streetlights flickered in the onset of darkness. I tried confessing whatever sin I knew to confess in silent prayer, but it didn't fix what was actually bothering me: I felt like such a huge mess.  My emotions had been all over the place.  I felt so much shame, fear, doubt... How had I gotten here? I wasn't sure... Besides, what good would it do to know? I couldn't fix it. I had spent many hours trying. It seemed that the more I tried, the messier it got. And it felt as though the very fabric of who I was had been torn apart. The Spirit within me nudged me to bring the mess to God.  "God, here is my mess... I bring it to You. Can you fix it?" I prayed silently, looking out the window into the dark night. Suddenly, I saw in my mind's eye the nail-pierced hands of Jesus. "I already did," His answer broke through my doubts and fears.  And then He looked...

Have you ever noticed that new seasons of life seem to bring on new failures?  I feel like motherhood and ministry are two places where God has called me to that involve constant change, as well as constant disappointment. "Disappointment in what?" you might be asking. Disappointment in, well, myself.  The older I get (which I'm aware I'm not very old yet), the more I find myself in the stages of life I once dreamed about. And the more I find myself in these stages I once dreamed about, the more I find that it is nowhere near as easy or perfect as I had pictured.  You know that thought you had a long time ago before you were in the season you are in now? The thought that said, "I will do better than they  are doing"?  Yet now, what have those thoughts done for us but point afresh at our imperfections and inability to execute any ideas we had about life perfectly?  Maybe it's not as picture-perfect as you thought.  Maybe you are messing up at every turn...

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning." -Lamentations 3:21-23 Dare to hope!  God's love will outlast your circumstances. You can't be separated from His love. What you see before you is not evidence that He's forgotten about you! His love for you  is everlasting! Dare to hope! His mercies are ongoing in spite of your circumstances. He is merciful, compassionate, and has promised not to allow more pain than you can handle by His grace!

As I sit here, preparing to write a post that I know I must write after praying and talking with God, I find that there is no adequate way to begin this. Let me just get to the point... I have been reading in Jeremiah for the past couple of days and this morning was so struck by how hurt God must feel when His beloved people turn from Him to worship other "gods". Stick with me here... I imagine that most of you who call yourselves Christians probably read that sentence and said to yourself, "nope, that's not me. I haven't gone and worshiped another god." But let me keep writing about God's heart to you for a second and then I'll explain...

Trust God... When the way is rough, trust Him. When your world is falling apart, trust Him. When all forsake you, trust Him. When you lose the ones you love, trust Him. When you're hurt by those closest to you, trust Him. When life is confusing, trust Him. When life's trials seem to overwhelm you, trust Him. When storms threaten to block your view of Him, trust Him. When your next step is uncertain, trust Him. When you feel lost and confused, trust Him. When life is up or down -all the time, trust Him and only Him. He promised He will never leave you! He promised His love for you will never fail! He said He cares for you and delights in every detail of your life! He firmly holds you in His hand! He planned out your whole life before the foundations of the earth were built! He gave you every spiritual blessing, dear child of God! He calls Himself your Father and you, dear Christian, His child! He loves you with an everlasting love and His eyes are always on...