Where He is

Deep in the fabric of my being, I have long had this notion that service to God is what we do to say thanks to God for the gift of grace He has given us in His Son, because I owe it to Him and need to prove I’m worth it. 

It started as a notion but then grew into a passion. A fiery passion to not only say thank you to God by doing as much good as I could do on this earth, but also to prove to Him and to others that I am worthy of His love. 

I am valuable because of what I do, right? Wrong. 

But this belief is a snare that eventually had me tangled. Life has a way of slowing us down -sometimes crippling us of our human strength and zeal and leaving us with nothing to offer God but our broken selves. 

In that place of brokenness, I also felt worthless. 

Why? Because my worth has always been tied to what I do. The more I do for Him, the greater my worth, the more He feels my gratitude. 

It's crazy how the enemy can take a good desire and twist it into a source of deep shame. 

Not good enough. Never doing enough. You are shameful. Not worthy of love.

That is the lie that was deeply embedded into this belief system. 

As if my service to God could repay Him for His endless grace. 

As if somehow by doing enough I could prove to Him and others that I really was worth saving. 

But is that even what God, in His endless grace, reached down and took hold of me for? 

And isn't it in our moments of brokenness that we find -really find- that His love for us is radically unconditional? 

I've been thinking... what if, when Jesus said He wanted His servants to be with Him where He is in John 12:26, He really meant it? 

What if the point of serving God is not to repay Him or even to thank Him, but rather, to be with Him? 

Think about it. 

If we are reaching out to encourage a discouraged brother or sister, what if we do it because He is already there? 

If we are speaking truth to a hungry heart, what if we do it because He is already there? 

If we help the least of these, what if we do it because He is already there? 

If we are serving our own family, what if we do it because He is already there? 

Jesus said if we really want to serve Him, we should follow Him so we can be with Him where He is. 

What if the point of life is not to do, do, do... but to be with Him where He is, because we just long for more of Him? 

If I draw near to a broken heart, won't I find His presence already with that broken heart? 

If I praise Him, won't I find His presence enthroned on my praise? 

If I serve, won't I find Him stooping down washing feet? 

If I pray in secret, won't He be with me there?

If I offer up my broken heart as an offering, won't I find my Father accepting it as a precious gift? 

My value was revealed when God decided what price He was willing to pay for my soul to be His. 

So was yours, my friend. 

His own life was the price He was willing to pay for me. Life for life. 

His own, infinitely valuable life, for my broken one. That's the value He placed on me. 

And that's the value He placed on you, too. 

We don't need to prove we are valuable; we just need to join the One who says we are. 

Follow Him to the lowest place, the place where the broken are, the place where the current of His grace flows the strongest, the place where you feel weakest in your own strength, but strong in His, and you will always find that in that place, He is there. 

Join Him. 

There, He is known. There, He is revealed. There, you find pleasure simply being with Him where He is. 

"'If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there my servant will be also....'" John 12:26