Fear and Love- Friends or Foes?

Love- that which binds us to the burdens, joys and sorrows of God. (Psalm 25:14, John 15:15)

Love -that which binds us to the hurts, griefs, suffering and triumphs of others. (1 Cor. 12:26)

We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

But there is one thing that steps between us and the oneness I have just described. 

There is one thing that holds us back with an icy grip from being the person who runs towards God and others in love.

What is it? You ask. 

It is fear.

Are we afraid of relating to God wrong? 

Are we afraid of hurting or being hurt by others? 

You see, fear prevents us from the oneness of love. 

Fear motivates us to put up the facade that everything is alright when in reality we are needy and helpless. 

Fear prevents us from reaching out to a hurting one in comfort. 

Fear prevents us from getting too close to others, because it could get messy.

Fear holds us back in our relationship with God, because, who knows if He is actually pleased with us or not? 

Fear keeps us from talking when we should be speaking the truth in love, and fear is what motivates us to talk too much when we should be silent. 

Fear is that voice that speaks of all that might go wrong if we reach out our hands in love.

Fear teaches us to cower in the face of potential difficulty.

Fear teaches us to cower before God and others.

Fear asks the question....

      What if I accidentally do something God doesn't like?

      What if I fail God or others?

      What if God or others reject me?

      What if I feel shame because I'm not good enough?

      What if I accidentally believe the wrong thing?

      What if others turn against me and I lose my friends?

      What if everything goes wrong?

      What if the worst happens?

      What if people stop liking me because I obey God?

      What if life ceases to be fun?

      What if others think I'm crazy for loving on this needy person?

      What if everyone thinks I'm doing it wrong? 

      What if I AM doing it wrong?

      What if...? 

These types of questions spin and spin in our minds until we can't think straight enough to make any rational decisions. 

They pull our eyes downward... right where the enemy wants us to look. For here in the human realm, there really is no power or hope to overcome these fears. 

There really is no rational way to completely dispel them. 

The most intellectual person in the world cannot reason away the voice of fear when once it has taken hold of a person's mind. 

Then what hope do we have?

If we are ever to learn to love, fear can't be in control. It will stop us every time. 

If we are ever to come as close to God in relationship as He so deeply desires, fear must be dispelled, for fear contradicts God's very heart towards us, and seeks to blind us to His true nature.

If we are ever to learn obedience to the Father and live as Jesus lived on this earth, always doing the Father's will, then fear must become our sworn enemy -not our friend- for fear will always try to stop us from obedience.

There is no real love in fear. We cannot love God or others in complete freedom when fear is given control. 

But fear is too powerful for us to just try and chase it away.

Fear is too forceful for us to pull ourselves out of its grip. 

Fear is too big and loud for us to just ignore it.

As one who has struggled many times with intense battles with fear, I write from experience. Fear is not something you and I can defeat in our own strength.  

Fear is too strong for us. 

Is there any hope anywhere? 

Well, my friends, this brings me to the verse that has inspired this whole writing. It has been a verse I have come back to often over the past couple of months as we prepare to head straight into darkness to be a light in the world of foster care. 

I have spent many a morning pondering this verse, and now, as I share it with you, I want you to look at it from the perspective of everything I have just written. 

Ready?

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

"There is no fear in love." 

Just let that sink in. 

Peer into the beauty of love. Take in its infinite depths. 

Ponder how wide, how high, how deep, how long it is.

Think about how relentless it is. 

And then tell me, can you find any fear in it? 

No, the longer you look, the more amazed you will be to find that no fear is found there. 

No fear of failure.

No fear of loss. 

No fear of rejection.

No fear of death.

No fear of, well, anything. 

Name your fear -you won't find it there.

I dare you to search in all of its depths to see if you can find any fear in the love of God. 

I guarantee that two things will happen:

1. Love is so infinite; you will be searching forever and will soon get lost in it. 

2. You won't find fear there ANYWHERE! 

...But how do we get fear out of that place of control? How do we ever get out of its icy grip?

 "...Perfect love casts out fear..." 

Can it be so simple? 

Want freedom from your fears? Then Someone more powerful must step in and release you from its grip. 

That One is the source of perfect love itself. In fact, He is the God who is love. 

Remember how I said that fear pulls your gaze downward?

So, look back up again! 

Look at the One who is Love. 

Ponder what it means to be loved by Him. (Hint: 1 John 3:1)

Think about how love should affect your relationship with Him. (Hint: Romans 8:15-16)

Meditate on the ways Jesus endured challenges and suffering. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Get around the body of Christ, who loves you, and let God love on you through them. (1 Cor. 12:26)

Ask Him why you fear the things that you fear. 

Ask Him what lies fear has spoken to you that have marred your vision of Him. 

And then boldly reach out in love to someone else. (1 John 3:16-18)

It is perfect love that casts out fear, not intelligent counsel, not our own wits and reasoning, not a simple, "no worries, it will be ok."

It is the Person who is Perfect Love itself that has more power than fear ever will, and if you take a risk in letting Him love you, you will soon find freedom from that fear, for fear and love cannot both be in control of the same person. 

His love will heal you from whatever reasons you have for being afraid.

His love will silence the voice of fear and expose the lies and wounds fear has delt to your soul.

His love will wash away the chaos and make your soul a peaceful place. 

You have no need to fear when your Lover is close by.

For He is...

...your Shield who will protect you from any real harm.

 ...the Love that cannot fail and will keep you from falling.

... the Righteous One who clothes you in His own righteousness and is always pleased with you because of it.

...Your Redeemer who will work every evil deed that happens in your life for good.

... Your Friend in the loneliest of times who sticks closer than a brother. 

...Your Shepherd who holds you close to His heart.

...Your Father who comforts you. 

...and so much more.

Look up, my friend. He is always closer than you imagine. 

"'Fear not, for I am with you...'" (Isaiah 41:10)

"'Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.'" (Deut. 31:6)

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To read more about the oneness of love, click here.