Living Life for Christ Alone

Deep in the fabric of my being, I have long had this notion that service to God is what we do to say thanks to God for the gift of grace He has given us in His Son, because I owe it to Him and need to prove I’m worth it.  It started as a notion but then grew into a passion. A fiery passion to not only say thank you to God by doing as much good as I could do on this earth, but also to prove to Him and to others that I am worthy of His love.  I am valuable because of what I do, right? Wrong.  But this belief is a snare that eventually had me tangled. Life has a way of slowing us down -sometimes crippling us of our human strength and zeal and leaving us with nothing to offer God but our broken selves.  In that place of brokenness, I also felt worthless.  Why? Because my worth has always been tied to what I do. The more I do for Him, the greater my worth, the more He feels my gratitude.  It's crazy how the enemy can take a good desire and twist it into a source...

“Abba, Father… when I bring broken things to You, don’t You heal? But why at times do You hold the broken things in Your hands -still broken? Why when I hand You the broken things, do You carry all the pieces, yet do nothing to put them back together?” I ask this question one morning, heart aching, hurt rising. “I know some pain isn’t meant to necessarily go away…” I try again, “But what is it for?” The question echoes deep in the chambers of my heart. What of the pain of seeing brokenness and not being able to do anything about it? What of the pain of seeing the broken people and circumstances God cares about and knowing that unless He works impossible miracles, nothing good can come out of brokenness? Sometimes, there are unnamed pains and brokenness deep within that are too deep to even describe with words. Grief that rises when least expected, grief of ongoing suffering of the silent kind. And I wonder… does God have a purpose in that kind of pain? I look around and...