Where I Am, There My Servant Will Be
I want to serve Jesus. This desire has been mine since my youth.
I wanted to be a missionary and make a huge impact somewhere so that I could come home and talk about it.
I wanted to leave a legacy that no one would miss.
I wanted to be remembered as someone who made a difference.
I wanted to feel like I was accomplishing something important for Jesus.
I often pictured showing up before that great throne one day with much luscious, spiritual fruit to offer Christ to show for how my life was spent on this earth.
I feared not having enough to give Him.
But marriage and motherhood has put huge cracks in this dream. They caused me to pause and have to rethink what is actually valuable.
What do I mean by that? Were those desires bad?
Well... let me explain.
I'll start by sharing something Jesus said in the book of John that digs deeper into my heart and causes me to reset and refocus every time I give it thought.
"'If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.'" (John 12:26a)
Are you serving Him? Are you trying to live for Him and obey Him?
Then pause and let His words sink in.
"'If anyone serves Me,'" -you out there who desperately want for your life to not be wasted- "'Let him follow Me...'"
Do you see it? Jesus is differentiating between serving Him and following Him.
I know for myself -and I'm sure for many others too- we have lumped those two into one single thing.
Following Jesus equals serving Him, doesn't it?
Check those spiritual boxes. Have something amazing you are doing for Jesus. Appear to be following Him by going into the ministry. Make those numbers go up of people you are influencing towards Christ. Try to be like Him as much as you can.
But Jesus says to those who are serving Him, "Follow Me," and then He defines it so simply, you could almost miss it.
"And where I am, there My servant will be also."
Wait. A. Second.
Is He saying that following Him is being with Him where He is?
Yes, He is.
You see, autopilot mode of serving Jesus looks like doing whatever I think He wants me to be doing.
It looks like hearing His commands and running off to accomplish them by myself.
It looks like trying to make a name for myself in the Christian world.
It looks like doing, doing, doing without any true spiritual rest.
It looks like doing everything I know to do and then some in order to be "good enough" for God, but never really knowing if I actually am.
It looks like working hard so that I can face God and not be ashamed.
It looks like frustration and extreme discouragement because marriage and motherhood are limiting my freedoms to just up and do whatever mission trips or ministry opportunities that I might have dreamed of doing with my life.
I feel like whoever reads this might need to take a breath right here. So go ahead. :)
But, hey. What if Jesus wants us to flip this thinking upside down?
What if, instead of doing first in order to truly be something, we simply just focused on being WITH Jesus and doing whatever we see Him doing?
He calls us to be with Him where He is, not to busy ourselves accomplishing things for Him.
He calls us to come close to Him and follow Him, even if the places He is going to are different than the ones we dreamed about.
Look at Him, Christian. Are you actually with Him?
Do you see Him crouching on the curb to talk to that little child? Are you going to join Him?
Do you see Him going into the kitchen to wash the dishes or make a meal for that family who is struggling? Will you do it with Him?
Do you see Him anguished over the deaths of the unborn, the unspeakable horror that trafficked children experience, injustices to the poor and destitute, the many orphans and widows that are not cared for, and many other evils in this world? Will you feel His pain with Him?
Do you see Him offering Himself to meet that one person's needs? Will you offer yourself too?
Do you see Him agonizing in prayer over that lost soul that you know or the souls of the wicked? Will you go kneel beside Him and let His burden be yours?
Do you see Him grieving because His own people do not receive His love? Will you grieve with Him?
Do you see Him serving the social outcasts, the unwanted and the unlovable ones? Will you take up a towel and serve by His side?
Do you see Him relentlessly pursuing in love that person that hates Him? Will you join Him in His pursuit?
Do you see Him compassionately seeking out that one person who is suffering in silence because they don't know if opening up their heart will hurt more than it will heal? Will you join Him?
Do you see Him reaching out to that person and holding them as they finally find the courage to say what pains they have suffered in much brokenness and fear? Will you put your arms around them too?
Do you see him, husbands and wives, listening to your spouse and being a comfort, help, support and lover to them even at their worst moments? Will you come out of your own world and join Him in His love for him or her?
Do you see Him, parents, compassionately caring for your children, changing their diapers, making their meals, bathing them, teaching them, patiently instructing them, gently comforting them and playing with them with a heart of joy? Will you join Him, not only in those actions, but in His heart for them?
Do you see Him working in secret, doing things no one will thank Him for or even appreciate? Will you roll up your sleeves and work alongside Him?
Do you see Him smiling and even laughing when the world seems to be against Him? Will you smile too, though the world rises against you?
You see, it is not always the big things we do in life that reveal Jesus.
Sometimes it is those small moments that are right in front of us where we are given a window into His very heart.
Sometimes it is in the quiet, unseen places where we have the greatest opportunity to know Jesus in a very intimate way that will affect others in ways those obvious things will not.
He is able to turn the most mundane things into beautiful, heavenly moments where He is seen.
Oh, friend... Look at Jesus and go be with Him where He is. He never wastes His servants' time.
The most joyous thing about being with Him will never be what is accomplished or whose lives are touched.
The most joyous thing about following Jesus will simply be knowing Him and walking with Him as friend with Friend.
His invitation to follow Him is a very personal one. He is not merely after your service and your accomplishments on His behalf -as noble as those may be.
He wants you.
He wants you to be fully present with Him, to see what He sees, to feel what He feels, to want what He wants, to love who He loves, to think His thoughts...
To be so inseparably one with Him that when people meet you, they meet Him too.
And you will never have this the way He wants you to as long as you are only serving Him the way you deem necessary and are not actually following Him in the places His feet are walking right now.
...
Oh, Jesus, open my eyes to see You. Show me where You are in each moment of each day. I want to join You.
I hear your invitation to follow You as an invitation to intimate fellowship and friendship with You, and I say yes. I'm coming, Lord.
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