Living Life for Christ Alone

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning." -Lamentations 3:21-23 Dare to hope!  God's love will outlast your circumstances. You can't be separated from His love. What you see before you is not evidence that He's forgotten about you! His love for you  is everlasting! Dare to hope! His mercies are ongoing in spite of your circumstances. He is merciful, compassionate, and has promised not to allow more pain than you can handle by His grace!

I saw this message written in the sky one day -a precious reminder of His love. In I am a Fugitive , I felt so selfish talking about God's love for me, but I'm not about to stop! Now I'm going to try to flip your mindset upside down. I think it might be kind of fun. :) Flipping my mindset upside down I always feel that, in order to feel God's love, there must be nothing in the way. I must remove all impurities, all sins that are tainting my view -then, and  only then,  I can see it for what it is. This simply isn't true. -Unconditional love The fact is, God has always loved me first . He showed His love for me when Jesus, His only Son, died on the cross, and the punishment for my sin weighed heavily on Him. He showed it when Jesus asked the Father to forgive me for nailing Him there.  "They don't know what they're doing,"  He says, because in reality,  I had no idea that my sins were giving Him so much pain on that cross.

For more than a week now, I've been thinking about a subject that seems almost selfish to think about. I can't get the topic off my mind! Every time I go to pray, every time I open up my bible, it's there, plain as day... And with it, a little red flag pops up.  Amazing enough, it all began with me failing  to be the kind of Christian I'm supposed  to be. Not loving people, not being kind... in fact, kinda rough in my thinking towards them.  Sure, there were specific and almost "good" reasons to think and be that way... (As in I could of rationalized it away easy as pie.)  There. You just got a glimpse into one of the many ways I'm quite capable of messing up.

"...And the people ran out of food again..." (Mark 8:1) This short little phrase jumped out to me as I read the passage in Mark 8. Perhaps because this kind of thing happens to me all the time. My food is a little different than theirs was on that day. Sometimes it's strength to get through the day. I might have found it in approval from someone or based on the circumstances that are in front of me. Other times it's patience with someone I simply  can't  be patient with... I muster up all the strength I've got to bite my tongue so that I don't say something I'll regret later.

Often in the shadows I sit, surrounded by piles and piles of emotions that hold my attention and overwhelm me. Often they arrive in a sandstorm of confusion, walling me in and leaving me full of fear.  They're dirty emotions. Many of them don't make any sense to me. And the more I try to bring order to the piles around me, the more of a mess it all becomes.  One addition to my piles of emotions came through a friend who didn't fulfill my expectations. The one before that came through a sibling who hurt me. Another whirlwind arrived in the form of broken dreams. And yet another came in the quiet of my bedroom, looking in the mirror at a failure -myself- a girl who could never be good enough; a girl who'd never measure up.

This year I started using a Bible in the year plan. It's been interesting to me which books they give you to read first. Part of the first several days was the book of Philippians... As I was reading in chapter 1, several phrases challenged me. I'd like to pass this challenge on to you. "For me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don't know which is better. I'm torn between two desires; I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live." -Philippians 1:21-24 I pulled out my notebook and started to spill the thoughts that were coming to mind, which I will write below. (In italics.) Do I have such a heavenly mindset? 

As December thirty-first turned into January first of the new year, I had mixed feelings. Partly because 2014 had turned out to be extremely dear to my heart. Many of my own life's most difficult moments had happened in this year, as well as many of the most exciting ones. I wasn't quite ready to let it go. Come on, it's just a year number...   On January first for the past couple of years now, I like to write a prayer of dedication in my journal, asking God to do something incredible with the year, to teach me more about Him, to grow me more... that kind of thing.